Learning to Listen #29

The last Proverb we will consider in our study on Learning to Listen is found in Proverbs 20. In it we find a cluster of verses that contrast wisdom and foolishness:

15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
    but a wise man listens to advice.
16 The vexation of a fool is known at once,
    but the prudent ignores an insult.
17 Whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence,
    but a false witness utters deceit.
18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts,
    but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

It starts in how we view ourselves and others. If we view ourselves as always right, always smarter, or even just most of the time, we tend to do more talking than listening. There is also a difference in how we respond to criticism.  We need to learn not to take every remark personally or defensively; we need to sift it through truth so we can recognize if it is constructive advice, or merely a jab intended to offend. The wise learn to not be easily offended, and not lash back so quickly when criticized. When we do speak, we must speak the truth, in love, and search our hearts first for our motives in doing so, lest we cloud the issue with anything that is not fully true.  This all builds up to the last rule for living: avoid rash responses - daggers dig deep, and the wounds take a long time to heal.  Our goal in sharing truth is not to wound and hurt, but to uncover wounds and minister to them, using the gentleness of Christ in our words.