Following after Jesus #68

In Mark's Gospel, from Peter's memory, the next significant event after the feeding of the twenty thousand was this:

45 Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. 46 And after he had taken leave of them, he went up on the mountain to pray. 47 And when evening came, the boat was out on the sea, and he was alone on the land. 48 And he saw that they were making headway painfully, for the wind was against them. And about the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. He meant to pass by them, 49 but when they saw him walking on the sea they thought it was a ghost, and cried out, 50 for they all saw him and were terrified. But immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” 51 And he got into the boat with them, and the wind ceased. And they were utterly astounded, 52 for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened.

Jesus, like before or after any great event, spent time alone with His Father in prayer. What a great example for us all. Meanwhile, He had sent His disciples to Bethsaida, a spot where they were to meet for some time together.  The Sea of Galilee is below sea level, with some significant mountains around it. He could see them. They were once again struggling against the storm in fear of their lives. It was now somewhere between 3 and 6 a.m., and they had put in a hard day's work throughout the night battling the storm, when Jesus goes walking by. Notice what Mark says: "He meant to pass them by." Ouch. Was Jesus just going to abandon them there? Now they were even more afraid, thinking they were seeing a ghost, and they cried out in fear.  Jesus responds to their cries and says: "It's okay. I AM is here. Stop being afraid." But rather than being completely calmed by this, they were "utterly astounded", because they still had not fully learned the lesson of the loaves. This account describes so much how we often feel in life when we are trying to follow Jesus, obey His commands, and live courageously in a scary world.  It seems like He has left us alone in the storm, even when He sees our struggle.  Then, when we remember He is there, He still doesn't seem to be answering our prayer. When He finally does, and things calm down, we still cannot see why He brought us through that storm.  We have tunnel vision.  But we keep on following. Why? We know deep down that some day things will make sense. Eventually our hearts are softened, and our eyes are open. But for now, we still see faintly, in a clouded mirror, through the mist in the storm, once again brought through by the Grace of God in Christ.