I can't stand the sight or sound of you!

The next day a harmful spirit from God rushed upon Saul, and he raved within his house while David was playing the lyre, as he did day by day. Saul had his spear in his hand. And Saul hurled the spear, for he thought, “I will pin David to the wall.” But David evaded him twice. Saul was afraid of David because the LORD was with him but had departed from Saul. So Saul removed him from his presence and made him a commander of a thousand. And he went out and came in before the people. And David had success in all his undertakings, for the LORD was with him. And when Saul saw that he had great success, he stood in fearful awe of him. But all Israel and Judah loved David, for he went out and came in before them. (1 Samuel 18:10-16 ESV) Saul's heart and eyes had been filled with envy. If he could not have the success, the popularity, the kingdom, then nobody should. Everything and everyone he saw and heard was filtered through this bitter envy. Even the soothing songs of David. He could no longer stand the sound or sight of him, so he removed him from his presence, and hoped to remove him from the earth. Saul was living in fear - not of physical harm from David, but of the comparative success and popularity David had above him. The comparison game. It's really not a game. It's deadly inner warfare. If you play, you lose. God was going to protect David, while Saul opened himself up to loss after loss. Who are you "tired of seeing or hearing?" Is it because of the evil eye game?

The Envious Eye...

As they were coming home, when David returned from striking down the Philistine, the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with songs of joy, and with musical instruments. And the women sang to one another as they celebrated, “Saul has struck down his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” And Saul was very angry, and this saying displeased him. He said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands, and what more can he have but the kingdom?” And Saul eyed David from that day on. (1 Samuel 18:6-9 ESV) Saul thrived on public opinion. It was the meter by which he gauged all things: whether and when to go to battle; whether to obey God or not; how he treated others. When Davids' popularity matched and possibly exceeded his own, Saul snapped. He could not bear the thought of someone else being number 1. Deep down he knew the truth: David was the up and coming king; Saul was on his way out. But rather than submit to God's will, he allowed bitterness and envy to slip in, keeping his evil, envious eye on David. It's easy for us to see. What is much more difficult is for us to objectively see our own envy, bitterness, and resentment of others. But we know One who can, and does. So what are we to do? Ask Him to help us see what He sees, own up to it, confess it, and set a loving, praying eye on anyone we envy. When we ask God to bless them with what they need, He will be blessing all those around that person, including me.

Sincere Soulmates...

As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father's house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so that Saul set him over the men of war. And this was good in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul's servants. (1 Samuel 18:1-5 ESV) This passage is only half about David. Before this, both men had shown exceptional courage above all others in battle. Both of them had the same heart: they wanted to see the Kingdom of Israel succeed and establish the borders God had originally intended. Both lived life before God, trusting Him and believing He was the true King. Jonathan went one further. By his actions, be demonstrated conviction that David was a better leader and warrior than himself. Comrades. That's what we need - brothers and sisters in Christ who will work together, admitting that each one has strengths the other lacks, and keeping the big picture in view. It's not just my story or yours; it's His.

Please, not me, Lord!

Transgression speaks to the wicked deep in his heart; there is no fear of God before his eyes. For he flatters himself in his own eyes that his iniquity cannot be found out and hated. The words of his mouth are trouble and deceit; he has ceased to act wisely and do good. He plots trouble while on his bed; he sets himself in a way that is not good; he does not reject evil. Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Your righteousness is like the mountains of God; your judgments are like the great deep; man and beast you save, O LORD. How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light. Oh, continue your steadfast love to those who know you, and your righteousness to the upright of heart! Let not the foot of arrogance come upon me, nor the hand of the wicked drive me away. There the evildoers lie fallen; they are thrust down, unable to rise. (Psalm 36 ESV) David witnessed first hand what happens when pride takes over. Saul demonstrated these characteristics listed in the Psalm: transgression deep in the heart, flattering oneself, deceitful words, failure to act wisely, a failure to reject evil or turn course onto doing good. David did not want to turn out that way, so he prayed: "Let not the foot of arrogance come upon me." It can happen to any of us. We must humbly pray it does not, lest we begin to compare ourselves and feel we are spiritually superior. We must also do what David did here and compare ourselves to the awesome character of God: steadfast, faithful, abundant, the source of all light and life. May we celebrate Him today, not ourselves, lest we too fall prey to pride.

Dealing with our enemies...

Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me! Take hold of shield and buckler and rise for my help! Draw the spear and javelin against my pursuers! Say to my soul, “I am your salvation!” Let them be put to shame and dishonor who seek after my life! Let them be turned back and disappointed who devise evil against me! Let them be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the LORD driving them away! Let their way be dark and slippery, with the angel of the LORD pursuing them! For without cause they hid their net for me; without cause they dug a pit for my life. Let destruction come upon him when he does not know it! And let the net that he hid ensnare him; let him fall into it—to his destruction! Then my soul will rejoice in the LORD, exulting in his salvation. All my bones shall say, “O LORD, who is like you, delivering the poor from him who is too strong for him, the poor and needy from him who robs him?” Malicious witnesses rise up; they ask me of things that I do not know. They repay me evil for good; my soul is bereft. But I, when they were sick— I wore sackcloth; I afflicted myself with fasting; I prayed with head bowed on my chest. I went about as though I grieved for my friend or my brother; as one who laments his mother, I bowed down in mourning. But at my stumbling they rejoiced and gathered; they gathered together against me; wretches whom I did not know tore at me without ceasing; like profane mockers at a feast, they gnash at me with their teeth. How long, O Lord, will you look on? Rescue me from their destruction, my precious life from the lions! I will thank you in the great congregation; in the mighty throng I will praise you. (Psalm 35:1-18 ESV) David had been singing psalms to sooth the soul of Saul. But now, Saul was pursuing him to kill him. As David says here, he had fasted for, prayed for, and grieved over Saul as he suffered, but now Saul had no compassion for David. He was out to destroy him. So now David calls out to God for justice and deliverance, for Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me! Take hold of shield and buckler and rise for my help! Draw the spear and javelin against my pursuers! Say to my soul, “I am your salvation!” Let them be put to shame and dishonor who seek after my life! Let them be turned back and disappointed who devise evil against me! Let them be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the LORD driving them away! Let their way be dark and slippery, with the angel of the LORD pursuing them! For without cause they hid their net for me; without cause they dug a pit for my life. Let destruction come upon him when he does not know it! And let the net that he hid ensnare him; let him fall into it—to his destruction! Then my soul will rejoice in the LORD, exulting in his salvation. All my bones shall say, “O LORD, who is like you, delivering the poor from him who is too strong for him, the poor and needy from him who robs him?” Malicious witnesses rise up; they ask me of things that I do not know. They repay me evil for good; my soul is bereft. But I, when they were sick— I wore sackcloth; I afflicted myself with fasting; I prayed with head bowed on my chest. I went about as though I grieved for my friend or my brother; as one who laments his mother, I bowed down in mourning. But at my stumbling they rejoiced and gathered; they gathered together against me; wretches whom I did not know tore at me without ceasing; like profane mockers at a feast, they gnash at me with their teeth. How long, O Lord, will you look on? Rescue me from their destruction, my precious life from the lions! I will thank you in the great congregation; in the mighty throng I will praise you. (Psalm 35:1-18 ESV) David had been singing to sooth the soul of Saul. As he did so, he tells us here that he had fasted and prayed on behalf of Saul, grieving over his suffering. But now Saul is pursuing David, seeking to destroy him. David calls out to God for justice, for protection, and deliverance. He continues to offer praise to God, but he wants to be able to do so in public, for all to hear. How do we deal with our enemies - especially those who at one time appeared to be our friends, to whom we have shown love and compassion? Prayer for them; praise to God; persistence of faith. May God grant us wisdom and grace to respond as David.

Singing to Myself...

I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together! I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. Come, O children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. What man is there who desires life and loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken. Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. The LORD redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned. (Psalm 34 ESV) David sang a lot of songs to King Saul to comfort him. But eventually he had to flee from Saul. Just as Saul was troubled in spirit, David faced many troubles, and on this occasion had been hiding in caves. Yet he sings, sharing with us the story of his suffering and the sufficiency of God in every situation. When he was down he sang these truths to himself: bless, magnify, seek, cry out to and taste God no matter what. He is waiting to hear. And he is watching our response. Will we keep our tongue from evil an turn away from it, or call out to Him and trust Him? The answer of our lives will show what we really believe about God: Is He good? Is He near? Does He hear? Does He save? Let's sing a song to ourselves today, reminding ourselves of all God is and how we need Him.

Stubborn as a Mule...

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him. You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you. Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD. Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart! (Psalm 32 ESV) Saul was one stubborn guy. When God kept trying to point out his stubborn rebellion, he kept professing his innocence. I wonder what he thought when David sang this song? True contentment only comes when we confess and find forgiveness. The agony described here of what happens when we do not confess is similar to the description of God's heavy hand of conviction on Saul. What does it take to move me from the stubbornness of my sin? Am I spiritually as stubborn as a mule, refusing to come drink of the waters of forgiveness? May it not be so. Avoid the sorrow. Stop being stubborn about sin.